Scammed in Love

So by now, I am sure you have seen the "Tinder Swindler" on Netflix. I know it has been met with mixed emotions, like how in the world can these women be so naive or it's triggering because you've had something similar happen to you. During my senior year of college, I studied abroad in London and had a run with a conman. Thankfully I didn't lose a cent, but my time was wasted, and my ego was severely bruised. I could definitely write a book, but I won't take you down that rabbit hole right now. I think it's important to recognize that both women and men lie; in general, everyone wants to present the best versions of themselves. We live in a social media era, where people only showcase the highlight reel. But some take it further and present themselves as something they are not. This post is designed to help you avoid getting Scammed in Love.

Lie #1 - Occupation

If you meet a handsome gentleman at a bar, let's call him John Smith. He says he's a Doctor; it's essential to ask critical questions. What type of Doctor are you? Where do you work? Where did you go to Med School, when did you graduate? Those are essential facts; make a mental note. The first search engine I would utilize is LinkedIn; I would, of course, see if the information presented matched up to their profile. How many of their colleagues actually have the same workplace currently? That's crucial. If they don't have LinkedIn, I will search with their name and title. If that still isn't yielding any results, you have to do it in the old school. For the past decade, between my time as a Hiring Manager in Retail, Corporate Recruiting, and managing our rental properties, I should probably apply for the FBI. I would call the Hospital, Clinic, or Practice they say they work and ask for them or confirm they are employed there. This is where it will be essential to think quick, but the easiest way is to say, "I'm calling from Bank of Orlando, and I'm trying to verify employment for John Smith." Two things can happen here; they can say he is employed there or no such person works here. If you aren’t able to confirm that he works there, just know he’s probably lying about everything else, just saying.

Lie #2- Your Home

Another lie a conman will tell is where they live. Here in the United States, every county has a property appraiser website that allows you to search by address or name. That will confirm who the actual owner of the property is. Let's say they live in an exclusive Building downtown; simply google the address and call the management office to confirm who to send a floral delivery to. If no such person abides in the apartment you were in, this is yet another red flag.

Lie # 3 - Background Check

I look up everyone, absolutely everyone - potential tenants, vendors, contractors, anyone who will be in my house. It's simple to search County Clerk records for where they have lived or currently live.

Lie # 4 - Marital Status

I'm sure you have been the person or had a friend dating someone who "was getting divorced," yet that divorce never happened. If they are not divorced, technically, they are still married, but that is just my opinion and the Bible’s. But a simple Court Record search will deem if they have even started the divorce process.

Final Thoughts

Another thing is to pay attention to what people are saying because when you lie, you just can't keep up with all of your lies. If the person you're seeing contradicts themselves, dive deeper ask more questions. I was a young, naive college student, and everything was exciting and fun, but I ignored the details. It is essential, especially for women, to be very mindful. If you're "dating" someone and you don't hear from them weeks at a time, that's a red flag. Six months is an excellent time to get to know someone, see if they are consistent, and make sure things add up. I believe in the case of "The Tinder Swindler," these women were attracted to the high life, so they weren't questioning it too much. "All that glitters isn't gold."

I hope these tips will help you avoid being Scammed in Love!

Happy 2nd Birthday CJ!

Laying Down Your Burdens