My Battle with Mommy Burnout
Mommy burnout is described as the emotional and physical exhaustion you feel from the chronic stress of parenting. I think, unfortunately, here in the United States, our impossibly high expectations for Mothers have made it inevitable. My favorite TV Mother of all-time was Claire Huxtable. Obviously, we won’t get into the disgraced predator that was her Co-star and the show's namesake. But how was Claire a successful Attorney who was raising five children and cognizant of their whereabouts and activities while she still managed to get dinner on the table and kept an immaculately clean Brownstone? Did you notice, she was always dressed to the nines, and she never had a hair out of place? Claire’s image of perfection is an impossible standard to achieve. At the same time, we have progressed immensely as a society since this show aired in the 1980s. But the social constraints are still flagrant that a mother should be a career woman, hotwife, amazing cook, and great caretaker to be deemed sufficient. This standard is archaic at best and leaves Mothers in a perilous state of exhaustion.
Before I had children, I always envisioned that I would be a modern-day Claire Huxtable. That standard kept me exhausted, irritable and put a huge strain on my marriage for at least the first year my daughter was born. I still wanted to be and do it all, make the elaborate meals, ensure the house could pass “the white glove test,” operate my Real Estate businesses while caring for a newborn. Looking back, I can’t believe how unrealistic my expectations were. It didn’t help that my husband also expected it to be business as usual. One day, I had an epiphany and realized that I needed to lighten my load for me to be the best Mommy and Wife.
Meals
I really love cooking and baking; it’s one of my hobbies. I love the satisfaction of perfectly executing a new recipe, and it tastes even better than imagined. But truth be told, my husband enjoys Pink Salmon just as much as my miso-glazed Chilean Sea Bass that I typically marinade overnight. So, why am I stressing myself out? Nowadays, you can call me Rachael Ray, because I’m not making any meal that takes over 30 minutes unless it’s a special occasion. Two of my most used kitchen appliances are my Rice Cooker and Air Fryer. On the weekends, we order takeout.
Cleaning
When my daughter was just a few months old, my Mommy helped me with her so I could complete some overdue tasks for my businesses and finish some chores around the house. She said to me, why don’t you just hire a cleaning person to focus on the baby and work. I hadn’t even thought about it; by freeing up the hours it took me to do a weekly deep-clean I could handle other tasks that were piling up.
Pampering
I sometimes find it hard to get my hair and nails done, especially now that we’re in a pandemic. But I realize that ensuring my hair is done just another thing I don’t have to worry about. Plus, when I look good, I feel good, it may seem vain, but that’s just how I’m wired.
Trust me, there are still days where I am exhausted to my bones, and work and chores are piling up. But I’ve come to realize that I honestly can’t do it all. Instead, I’m focusing on the important things to me, and that is being a happy and healthy role model to my children while still being a devoted but realistic wife to my husband. I’m currently looking up laundry services, that is my current Achilles heel.
