How I Survived Two Children Under Two
I originally wrote this blog post for my dear friend’s blog – Just Mommying JA. My friend wanted me to share my experience of having two children who are just 18 months apart. In everything I do, I’m going to be painstakingly honest.
So I’m a planner. I constantly have to-do lists and calendars revolving in my head. In October of last year, our baby girl Suri was 10 months, and she was just so much fun crawling around saying a few words – mostly Dada and sometimes Mama. My husband, and I felt like we had this parenting thing in the bag. I was finally able to catch up on all my Property Management work, Suri had a great routine. We had no complaints. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was a few days after I missed my period (very blessed to have a regular 28-day cycle). I hesitantly took a pregnancy test, and there were two pink lines (POSITIVE). My first reaction truthfully was just SHOCK. I walked into my husband’s bathroom to show him the test, and he was like, “Congrat-ula-tions”…He too was in shock. So many thoughts are going through my head, I’m still breastfeeding like isn’t that a form of contraceptive? How did this happen? I know so many women struggle with infertility, and of course, I can empathize with them. Children are blessings from God, but we weren’t expecting this blessing so soon. After a few weeks of really wrapping my head around this and how it would change our family's dynamic, I then became very excited and could fully embrace this pregnancy!
There were a few things I needed to implement to make this transition smooth.
Weaning - Suri at the time was still breastfeeding, and she never took a bottle like ever. It would be a hard task introducing her to a bottle, but I knew I needed to start weaning her. So after her first birthday, I started replacing the morning feedings and night feedings with a bottle of Soy Formula. It was certainly met with resistance for the first few weeks, but eventually, she loved the bottle. It was hard during the first-trimester nursing while having morning sickness. I was gradually replacing feedings with a bottle. Then in February, when Suri was 14 months, I stopped breastfeeding cold turkey. I knew if I didn’t just stop, I would end up having two babies on the boob.
Sleep Training – So we co-slept, it was perfect for night nursing, and we loved her being so close. But after being pregnant for 4 months and already struggling to sleep, it didn’t help having her cute little feet literally in my face and or side all night. My husband slept on the like edge of the bed because Suri slept horizontally. I eventually bit the bullet and sleep-trained her, with the help and encouragement of my mom's friends. I also read several blogs and books on sleep training, the book “Moms on Call:0-6 Months” was a great resource. After lots of tears, we finally got sweet little Suri into her crib in her room.
Potty Training – That was a bust, and we’re still changing her diapers. You win some, and you lose some.
The months after finally weaning Suri and getting her on a sleep schedule, we finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. We couldn’t wait to meet Baby X (as we affectionally called my growing tummy, we also were doing a gender surprise as we did with Suri). This pregnancy wasn’t as easy as it was the first time. Because my pregnancies were so close together, my body didn’t properly heal. I just finished pelvic floor rehab due to having a second-degree tear after delivering Suri. I didn’t have any core strength and felt it when carrying Baby X, especially in my lower back. Despite the physical toll on my body, I had to keep pushing because I still had a very demanding toddler. Then Corona hit, the world closed around us, Racial tensions at a high in the United States, I was emotionally and physically taxed by the end of the pregnancy. But on June 26th, we welcomed the most perfect baby boy – Christopher Charles White II (we call him CJ), it was all worth it. The first two weeks were baby bliss, my Mommy stayed with us taking care of Suri, cooking meals, and I just got to enjoy time with my yummy baby boy. Suri welcomed her baby brother with just open arms; literally, she still tries to hold him. Then without notice, my mom was called back to work. So here we are with a very active toddler and a very dependent newborn and no help. After about a month and a half of barely making it, I started to get the hang of it.
I will say the most difficult part for me, having two children so close in age, is how they require different types of attention. I must be very intentional with both children. Suri needs to be constantly entertained, and she’s nonstop, so I really am just planning my days with that in mind. Ensuring we have enough activities to keep her engaged and honestly wear her out until naptime and then until bedtime. CJ is still just so helpless, so it’s just feed, change, sleep, cuddle, some tummy time, and then repeat. Having a partner that’s hands-on as well has been crucial to me surviving this stage. We certainly are a tag team in what seems to be an all-day WWE match. Husband is so good about doing outdoor activities with Suri, whether it’s the pool or walk/bike ride. During this time, I’m able to shower, eat a hot meal, and nap CJ’s sleep schedule permitting. While Suri has required more attention since the birth of CJ, I ensure we have one-on-one time. Before CJ wakes in the morning, Suri and I have a morning routine – she gets a bottle, she’s changed, we brush her teeth and comb her hair. Then I feed her breakfast, and we listen to Worship music on TV. I really treasure this time with her. Mom guilt certainly creeps in because Suri had all of my attention when she was CJ’s age. But the fact of the matter is, I have two kids now, and it’s a constant juggling act. The sooner I came to terms with that, the easier things became. When I put Suri down for her nap, it’s my time with CJ. We do tummy time, sensory activities, and cuddle with him.
There are some items that certainly make things easier for me. Diaper Caddy – our townhouse has three floors- so it’s way too much having to go up and down the stairs to change diapers. So I have a diaper caddy I keep in the living room with diapers for both children, a changing pad, wipes, and all ointments. Baby Carrier/Baby Wrap – I do a lot of Baby Wearing; I need to keep up with Suri while having CJ close to me. Baby Swing/Bouncer – when I need to move freely, it’s more convenient for me to put CJ in his swing. Toys and Books – we like toys that require Suri to really use her critical thinking skills and imagination, such as puzzles, blocks, her Doctor’s set. Suri is already a BookWorm; her collection is quite impressive. Our newest bedtime routine involves Husband reading 3-4 books to Suri while I nurse CJ in our bed. Ipad – while we like to limit screen time to just an hour/day, sometimes I need to keep Suri sedentary watching Youtube Kids while I’m hemmed up.
A schedule has also helped, but of course, parenting requires you to be fluid. I will certainly do a blog post once I’ve mastered that. The better I’m able to stick to a routine, the smoother my day goes. Some days are perfectly imperfect, once in particular, CJ had a major blowout; not even the onesie made it; he then peed on the wall as I was putting him in the baby bath, after he was nice and clean he then spit up all over himself. This was all happening as Suri was sleeping; by the time I finally got CJ down for his nap, Suri woke up.
The good days certainly, outweigh the hectic and emotionally draining days. I am overcome with joy every time I look at Suri and CJ together; how am I so blessed to be their mother. While I certainly did not plan for two children under age two, I am certain God knew I could handle it.
