What I’ve Learned About Love
Our beautiful Valentine’s Day Themed Picnic Photoshoot
We’ve all been to a wedding where an excerpt from 1 Corinthians 13 has been read. The Bride and Groom stare into each other’s eyes and are just beaming while listening to this sweet scripture. They’re in pure and utter bliss. Of course, with the backdrop of your friends and family supporting this joyous occasion on this perfectly curated day, this quintessential scripture on love is almost effortless. But this scripture is truly put to the test when marriage becomes complicated, and you're faced with stress from careers, finances, and children. How are you expected to be Patient, Kind, and not keep a record of wrongs?
It’s easy to say Love is Patient when you’re still in the honeymoon phase. In the first two years of our marriage, we were on cloud nine. I mean, we had a gorgeous destination wedding and honeymoon in Jamaica. Life was perfect; we were Mr. and Mrs. Dink, traveling frequently and still meeting the expectations we secretly set out for each other. It’s not until we had our first child that patience really started to wear thin between sleep deprivation and just navigating life as a new mommy while still having to be cognizant of my husband's needs. It was hard to be patient like I would honestly get so annoyed with everything he did or did not do. But what I realized is that my relationship with my husband is the foundation of a happy home. When I shifted my mindset, I was able to practice real patience.
Love is Kind, whew this one is tough. Those who know me really well will say that I have a big heart and have a lethal tongue. Unfortunately, no one feels those lashings worse than my husband. My modus operandi in the past when I felt defensive was to attack first. This doesn’t work in marriage and leads to long term resentment. So while it’s easy and just my savage nature to let my husband know how I really feel, I’ve learned to kill him with kindness. This certainly doesn’t come easy to me; it’s literally the opposite of what I want to do.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs, like who wrote this? I’m all about being equitable; this part is what is the hardest for me. I can easily tally up how I’m such an amazing wife, meeting the needs of my husband, showing him love in his love language, just going above and beyond. I am also very self-aware, so I know when I miss the mark. I still have to work on not evaluating how he’s performing in the marriage. That isn’t my role; of course, I keep him accountable, but the tit for tat gets exhausting. When I focus on how I can become better in our marriage, I’ve noticed he’s on the ball too.
Photography - Jennell Thomas Photography
Shop our Looks Here: Pink Tulle Dress and Rose Suit
Set Design, Styling, Hair and Makeup - Tishele Smith
This scripture is truly unique, and when it’s unpacked verse by verse, if you apply it, you’ll see results. What I’ve learned most about love is that you have to be intentional. Words without action are just lip service, and every day, you to chose to put the work in. I also know if you follow this scripture as a guideline for your marriage, Love will never fail.
This blog post was inspired by David and Tamela Mann’s Book, Us Against the World: Our Secrets to Love, Marriage, and Family.
