Becoming the Best Version of Myself

In this current season that I am in life, I struggle to find who I am outside of my role as a Wife, Mother, and Business Owner. 

I think that our society has a way of defining us in a few ways.

· Relationship status – Are you married? 

· Parental status - Do you have children? 

· Professional Status – What do you do for a living? 

Those are the first questions that people tend to ask when initially meeting. But I genuinely feel that there is so much more to me than my roles and title, and I am currently starting to focus on becoming the best version of myself. For me, that has been focusing on my Mental Health, Physical Health, Spiritual Walk, and Personal Goals.

Counseling:

The biggest thing I had to realize was how much healing I needed to do as an individual. It's terrifying having to disrupt the facade of perfection that I try to obtain. I haven't had anything I felt that was "super traumatic" to justify needing a therapist. I need to get to the root of why I'm so reactive to specific triggers, my high expectations, and my need for control. I must do the healing necessary so that I can connect better to my husband and my children. The past year was very dark for me, which I'm sure others felt that same weight. I don't feel I ever fully recovered from the isolation of the pandemic, the racial injustice, and then having to bring new life during all this turmoil. I will certainly follow up on my therapy journey, and I hope it inspires others like myself who have tough exteriors but are barely coping.

Physical Health:

The priority for my Physical Health has taken a back seat since becoming a Mother. I have never liked to exercise, but for vanity purposes, whether for a trip or my wedding, I always ensured to do something physical. After having my first child, I just breastfed her, and the weight dropped off, so my fitness wasn't that big of a concern. Since having my son, I still have 20 extra lbs on me. I am currently working with a nutritionist, in which I have a whole blog post about that process, especially how it pertains to postpartum nutrition and weight loss. I've started incorporating exercise in my routine, which is critical because heart disease is the number one killer of Black Women. Also, when you look good, you do feel good. I've been prioritizing doing some form of exercise at least a few times a week. It's consistently doing the small things that will make the most significant difference.

Spiritual Walk:

I also think another critical part of becoming the best version of myself is my walk with Christ. Even as a believer, I have to be very mindful of the fruits of my spirit. There are certain shows I'm not able to watch anymore. I mean, it's not even that I was watching anything truly vulgar before, but I notice some of the shows I used to love just upset my spirit now. Then the music these days, like wow, I find the lyrics vulgar and the offensive language unnecessary. The more I'm able to protect my spirit, and the kinder and gentler my words are, quite frankly.

Personal Goals:

As of late, I have been re-examining my personal goals. In this chapter of my life, I've almost lost sight of what I wanted to accomplish personally for myself. I almost felt selfish for wanting to pursue things outside of my role of being a wife and mother. That's just really not the case; as a believer, God doesn't call us to be mediocre, and there's nothing that we can dream that's ever too big for him if we keep him first. I've been looking back at journals where I discussed careers, passions, and visiting different places. I've acknowledged what I've put on the back burner and other things I was afraid to pursue. For me, this blog is something that I've wanted to do since 2015 but just felt led to do last year from the encouragement of my Husband, Mother, and close friends. It's lovely having a community that believes in you even when you don't believe in yourself. I've always enjoyed writing; this is a medium in which I can speak authentically about what I'm going through and connect with like-minded women. If I reach just one person, that's enough for me. I want to make a difference in the life of others. So watch out. There's so much more to come!

I am so grateful for where I am in life, and I don't take all that God has blessed me with for granted. But I also must acknowledge that I want to accomplish so many more things in life. In order to that I must be whole, and my wholeness can only come from God. It doesn't come from my status as someone's wife, my role as a mother, or the transactions I close this year in Real Estate. When I recognize that, I am not only humbled, but I'm secure in becoming the best version of myself.

In this season of your life, what has been your biggest epiphany? 

Shoot Details

Photographer - Melissa Ortiz Photography

Makeup and Stylist - Tishele Smith

My Dress - Bishu Maxi Dress

Shoes - Steve Madden Andrina Clear

Location - Private Residence