My Top 5 Life Lessons
As I move into the 34th chapter of my life, I have to take a moment and Thank God for everything he has done for me. I am not talking about material things at all. The life I have now is one that I dreamed of and prayed for but honestly could never imagine actually happening. It’s truly by the grace of God, and it’s humbling. There was a time that I thought I would never find the one, and it was just heartache after heartache. When I look at my husband, I’m just grateful for him and the life we’ve built. Even when we disagree, which is frequent because we’re complete opposites, I still thank God for him after praying that he sees my perspective. Then I am certainly grateful for my children who make me a better person.
As I reflect on my life, these are my top five life lessons that have truly helped mold me into the woman I am today and proud to be.
1. Embrace Your Extra-Ness
Since I was a child, I have been called “nuff,” as we say in Jamaica. Which basically means so extra, full of yourself. I remember one of my former bosses calling me overconfident, and while I could get into him projecting his insecurities on me, I took that moment to reflect. I am whole-heartedly comfortable with who I am, I am not pretending to be anyone else, and I make no apologies for that. I am grateful to my Mother that always encouraged me; she tells me that I would speak in superlatives when I was a little girl in Jamaica. I would come home from school and say, “I’m the prettiest, I’m the fastest, and I’m the smartest” my Mother would reply, “yes, baby, you are,” talk about gassing me up. I love the confidence she instilled in me at an early age. So fast forward to 30+ years later, and while life has taught me humility. I can easily command a room, I ensure to leave my mark wherever I go, and I am all about pomp and circumstance. If I’m going to do anything and it has my name on it, it will be executed to a T. If this pandemic has taught me anything, tomorrow isn’t promised, so I plan to live my life unapologetically, I’m extra, and I own it.
2. I’m not always going to be everyone’s cup of Tea
This is one of the hardest lessons because even though I’m an Enneagram 8 and project this tougher-than-nails exterior. Deep down is that 12-year old girl that saw a majority of her classmates get invited to a birthday party in which she was excluded. My Mother, God Bless her, told me my personality is strong, “people will either love or hate you; there’s no in-between.” I’ve honestly found that to be true, and there is nothing I can do to make someone like me who just won’t. I am certainly not going to tone down my personality or tip-toe to accommodate someone who won’t like me regardless. There are so many amazing relationships that I have that are flourishing and feed my soul. I’m still learning not to let someone’s opinion of me live rent-free in my head.
3. Not Everyone will Support You
I have been in real estate now since 2012 when I started helping my husband (boyfriend at the time) with his investment properties. I officially got my real estate license in 2014, I managed the rental properties while I worked in Retail Management and then Corporate Recruiting. I have been doing Real Estate in all capacities full-time since 2018. It was necessary to step away from my Corporate role because our Investment Properties were losing so much money, not being managed properly. I also property manage for clients and do Residential Sales as a Realtor. I’ve had family members and acquaintances close dozens of Real Estate transactions and didn’t even think to call me. I’ve heard excuses from, “oh, we want to keep business separate,” “you know you just had a baby,” just excuses on top of excuses. Of course, it stings, but honestly, not everyone’s going to support you. I hate to say that. Sometimes people don’t want to see you do well or think that you have enough already. I honestly don’t know why people are like that; I’ve spent too much time trying to wrap my head around it. Is that that they don’t think I’m knowledgeable enough, or maybe they don’t think I have enough experience, or they don’t see me working hard enough. If I obviously depended on people I knew to hire me in their Real Estate deals, I would literally starve. But some of those same people have asked me for advice after their transactions, and it blows my mind. I can’t lose sleep over these people who sleep on me. I’ve come to know that God is my Provider and Source truly.
4. True Love Isn’t Toxic
Before my relationship with my husband, my “dating life” was trash; I kept repeating the same patterns with different guys. I would be all in with the mysterious, hard-to-read guy who would barely be invested in our “situationships.” Then I would wonder why things weren’t working out, and I never thought I’d find the one. I thought I was cursed. But I had to examine things and realize that I was essentially making bad decisions, ignoring red flags, and letting “these scrubs” get away with murder. When I put my foot down and really set up healthy boundaries not long after “my Prince,” whose now “my King” came along, and our story is a “meet-cute” made for movies.
5. When you trust and Believe in God, it all works out in the End
I’ve had my fair share of heartaches and disappointments. I remember when I was interning in Public Relations literally across the globe in London. I was so fortunate to study abroad there my senior year of college. To this day, it was one of the best and most crazy experiences I’ve had, really shaped who I am today. But I came back to my last semester of college with no job prospects after graduating, a global economy that was crashing, and a huge student loan debt. That was one of the lowest points of my life. I even considered joining the military. It was so disappointing to have done all this work, and no matter my efforts weren’t able to get my dream PR role. I even had an internship in DC, but no permanent roles came to fruition after that ended not to mention the having Cruella as a roommate. I came back to Florida again with no PR positions on the horizon, and I was defeated. In hindsight, I realized that those opportunities couldn’t work out, or I wouldn’t have the life that I have today. At the end of it all, this was truly God’s Plan.
Shoot Details
Photographer - Melissa Ortiz Photography
Makeup and Stylist - Tishele Smith
Dress - Oyemwen
Location - The Alfond Inn
